Its the (little) Things that count

I used to look at all those foolish, materialistic people around me and wonder, “how could anyone derive meaning from inanimate objects?”

I used to think that I had everything all planned out, that twenty years from now would be just like twenty seconds from now.

I used to have a little faith. But now, nothing seems so sure anymore. I finally (kind of) understand why people strive for glory, seek fame, amass wealth. There’s a satisfaction in it that’s so immediately gratifying, so satisfying, and for just one second in your life you believe that you actually mean something. There’s a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Who knew a dead guy understood so much?

I used to believe in something, but now I’ve forgotten what it was.

Bored.

Math was horrible, english was.. I don’t know. No mood to study, quiz timee.

How does the world see you?
Just Like The First Time – A Change of Pace

Will I have a happy life?
Hold Me Twice – FM Static

What do my friends really think of me?
O Valencia – The Decemberists (WTF.)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Nothing Better – The Postal Service

How can I make myself happy?
If I Cut My Hair, Hawaii Will Sink – Chiodos

What should I do with my life?
All That I’ve Got – The Used

Will I ever have children?
Welcome To The Jungle – Guns N’ Roses

What is some good advice for me?
Find A Way – The Used

How will I be remembered?
Heels Over Head – Boys Like Girls

What is my signature dancing song?
Dance, Dance – Fall Out Boy (Whoa talk about perfect fit)

What do I think my current theme song is?
She’s A Lady – Forever The Sickest Kids

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Never Take Friendship Personal – Anberlin

What song will play at my funeral?
I Got It From My Mama – Will.I.Am

What type of men/women do you like?
Politics – Waking Ashland

What is my day going to be like?
The Bright Side of Suffering – Scary Kids Scaring Kids

Beginning (again)

So… prelims just started, and it’s already a disappointment (in more ways than one). I just want to give up, but then again maybe not. The only devotion I’ve ever remembered since Primary 1: Read a thought, you sow an action. Reap an action, you sow a habit. Reap a habit, you sow a character. Reap a character, you sow a destiny.

Not bad huh. Today’s prose passage had something about destiny in it. I’m envious of the character really. At least he had someone to forcefully knock him out of his destiny, to change fate for him. They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but being worse off is better than being nothing isn’t it?

Bad thought process. It’s time for a paradigm shift.

When words don’t make sense anymore

“Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep someone out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.” I’ve heard this quote somewhere before.

Its like life has been put on repeat: backtrack to one year ago, and the people I used to talk to I’m talking to again, the people I recently got to know are gone. The feeling’s stale, just like everything else. But nothing I write’s going to change it, and I’m sure if you looked back to a year ago the stuff I’m writing here is exactly the same.

Oh well.

Taken for a fool?

Whoa. Fuck you, seriously. Don’t fucking accuse me of taking you for a fool when it’s your own fucking problem that every time we talk all you do is fucking scream. And then you turn around and ask fucked up questions like why don’t we spend enough time together? Holy shit, world’s stupidest dumbfuck. I’m going whether you like it or not. Bitch.

HELLO YONGS

This post is just to say that not all the posts are as emo as they look, seriously. They’re just vague and mystical and all unknowny and its probably just the colour of this blog that makes it look emo. Kinda. Context! If I was straight-forward and to-the-point about stuff t hen they won’t look emo, such as this post. See what I mean. Yesyes.

P.S. I haven’t posted about that person in ages mm.

Slipping through the cracks

Sometimes it feels as if the world doesn’t matter. Sometimes it feels as if everything’s going to be alright in the end, that everything will work out and we just have to wait. Sometimes it feels as it means something.

I’m so confused now; maybe a little insecure as well. It might be nothing, but a feeling deep down tells me otherwise. Why did it have to be there? I wonder which is worse, not knowing or knowing but helpless. Then again, it might be nothing.

Doesn’t feel like it used to. Why?

Here-and-now friend

I just spent the last 10min typing out this post, only to have the stupid Internet Explorer crash on me. Oh well. The gist of it was that are your friends the people you’re with, or the people who care? Then again, how do you know who really cares, and who just wants to be with you for the moment?

Its life with just a little pinch of salt. I’d rather not have it.

This is the correlation of salvation and love

Anberlin yesterday was gooddd. I almost forgot how great his voice was heh. Company was fun too! (Stupid yao I totally called you but you didn’t reply till like ages later)

Today wasn’t a good day. I lost a lot of things, least of which being money. But somehow in losing you really start to realize what you never had in the first place. They don’t last, unless both sides want them to. Its not fair, but nobody really cares.

Lack thereof. Please save me.

It’s all in the voice

Doesn’t matter what you say, but how and when you’re saying it. We’re such suckers for people skills, we completely miss the bigger picture. And it doesn’t help when you make something already hard to do even harder.